Mothers and Sons
The Good
The mother –son relationship is a special one. It is also a complicated one . From early childhood mothers and sons have a strong bond where mom is often the light of a son’s life. He pours all his emotions and holds her in high esteem. Mom on the other hand is often able to get from a son the kind of (non sexual) male attention and love she craves but may not always receive from her spouse or partner.
The Bad
The bond between mother and adult sons can also become unhealthy. As a mother you can consciously or unconsciously use your son as a crutch especially if there is no father figure in the home or the man in your life does not meet your emotional and often financial needs. This places sons in a difficult position as they often feel obligated to fill in the gap. The relationship between mother and son changes as the balance of power shifts and if the son is strong willed he may begin to treat his mother like an infantile child who must dance to his tune. If your son is weak willed he may become a noose around your neck as he is unable to fully function independently and constantly needs to find out what mom thinks before he makes a move ..becoming a momma’s boy who cannot stand on his own two feet.
The Ugly
An unhealthy mother and son relationship will eventually become ugly. Sons who have an unhealthy relationship with their mothers will often have difficult relationships with other people especially women. If your son feels resentful towards you , fears or feels highly obligated towards his mother, he is likely to fail at romantic relationships. Mothers who have unhealthy mother and son relationships will tend to be overbearing and self centred or quiet and manipulative and make life UNBEARABLE for any woman coming into her son’s life. This often poisons family relationships as people are forced to pick sides.
Mothers often need to chop off the apron strings and allow their sons to live their own lives and become their own man.
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