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Do men and women have different approaches to money ?

The answer is Yes ! Extensive research has been done around this  topic and some of the results seem to prove the stereotypes to be correct while  others identify popular thinking to be a myth. Whether you agree with these results or not men and women are different and they often look at the world differently.  Being aware of these global differences may help you next time you get upset with your partner for apparent lack of understanding on money issues. Everyone looks at money differently and your partner will not look at money in the same way you do.

  
Approaches to money :

• Men tend to be  hunters and women gatherers.

• Men tend to view money in a win or lose manner and most will find nothing wrong with purchasing a big ticket item like a car without consulting his partner. Women often get upset at not being consulted over this because in their view they have a partnership going and should be working as a team !

• Men are raised to believe that they will be good at dealing with money and while women are raised to defer  financial decision making to their husbands whether they believe him to be better with money or not !

• When men make money they credit themselves and when they lose money they blame external sources such as their broker ! Women on the other hand will credit external sources like their financial advisor when they make money and blame themselves when they lose money.

• For most men earning more money means more power in decision making while women who make more money than their partners are more likely to opt for cooperative decision making.

Couples Quiz -Test Your Financial Compatibility

Couples & Marriage: Test Your Financial Compatibility ( Extract from Virginia Society of Certified  Public Accountants

Couples frequently avoid talking about money before marriage. That's unfortunate because sharing perspectives about money can help couples resolve the financial issues that doom many marriages. If you want to learn to meet in the middle when it comes to finances, take this financial compatibility quiz.

1. How often do you and your significant other or spouse discuss your financial situation?

A. Once a week
B. Once a month
C. Once a year
D. Never

2. Have you set a monthly budget or plan to guide your spending?

A. Yes
B. No
C. Don't know
D. What's the point? We don't have any money.

3. How have you divided the financial responsibilities in your household?

A. One takes care of everything. The other is oblivious.
B. One pays bills, while the other tracks investments and insurance coverage.
C. We sit down together and do everything as a couple.
D. Nobody takes responsibility for financial matters.

4. If you receive a bonus or an unexpected windfall, how would you spend your money?

A. Immediately head to the mall for an afternoon of self-indulgence.
B. Pay down mutual debt.
C. Save a little, spend a lot.
D. Contribute to an individual retirement account.

5. Have you ever tried to disguise or hide a purchase from your significant other or spouse?

A. No, I'm always honest.
B. Maybe once or twice.
C. Only around the holidays.
D. Regularly.

6. How much money would you feel comfortable spending on a single purchase without first conferring with your significant other or spouse?

A. Less than $50.
B. $51-100.
C. $200 plus.
D. I don't see any reason to check with my spouse before spending money.

7. If you want to make a major purchase as a couple, what do you do?

A. Open up a store charge card, or charge it on the card with the most room.
B. Save the amount needed before making the purchase
C. Take the money out of savings account
D. Resist the temptation, and make do with what you have.

8. How do you plan to teach your children about money responsibilities?

A. An allowance system where children earn money for completing their chores each week.
B. We regularly give our children money to buy whatever they want, because we want to be generous with our money.
C. We try to set a good example for our children, and we expect them to follow our lead.
D. We talk about spending, saving, and investing with our children.

9. Have you made provisions to care for your significant other or spouse in case of death or disability?

A. Yes. I have an updated will along with disability and life insurance policies.
B. Yes. I made a will 10 years ago.
C. No. I'm too young for anything bad to happen.
D. No. My significant other or spouse knows how I would want my property and possessions divided.

10. Are you and your significant other or spouse actively saving for retirement?

A. No, we hope to use our family inheritances for retirement.
B. No, we don't have any money to spare.
C. Yes, we regularly set aside money for retirement.
D. Yes, we have mapped out a retirement savings strategy and follow the plan.

Compare your answers with your significant other or spouse, and see if you're on the same financial page.

·          If you and your significant other or spouse had the same answers to at least eight of the 10 questions, then you are two peas in a pod. Your relationship seems to be rock solid, at least when it comes to financial matters.

·          Did you have the same answers for more than five questions but fewer than eight of them? If so, your financial relationship is a work-in-progress. You're headed in the right direction, but you need to check the couple compass before making your next financial move.

·          If you answered fewer than five questions the same, then you and your spouse may need a money makeover. You're clearly at opposite ends of the financial spectrum, and you'll need to close that gap if you want to reach your financial goals.

Even if your score wasn't where you hoped it would be, these questions can help frame your future financial discussions. Here are online tips from CPAs to help you address the financial issues raised in this quiz. These and tips on other personal finance issues are available online at www.financialfitness.org or www.360financialliteracy.org.

You, Me, Money & Us: Do's and Don'ts

Silent but powerful, Money is the third partner in our  relationships! If we don’t give it due respect and attention it will  often destroy the  relationship between ‘You’ and ‘Me’ and leave ‘Us’ shattered.Yet we neglect this co- partner until it’s often too late. If we  do talk about money we are shouting,  we  are accusing, we are defending or we end up stonewalling on the issue just to keep the peace.  Money and  issues to do with finances have been found to be the primary areas of conflict in the family. Improve your money relationship with our suggestions below: 

Do’s  & Don'ts  About  Money 

Do sit down and share each other’s history, backgrounds and views about  money. 

Do try to see money from your partner’s perspective

Do try to learn and understand your money personality and that of your partner. 

Do set aside time each month to  discuss the family budget &  money issues with your partner. 

Do set goals together. What are you saving for as a family ; Holiday, new car, charitable giving..?

Don'ts 

Don’t put one person in control of the finances.  

Don’t talk about money when you are emotional. Be open and don’t get defensive or go on the offensive.

Don’t use money to punish or control your partner .

Don’t assume the fight is about dollars and cents. Dig deeper and determine the real  issue .

Don’t believe the hype; not all men are good at managing money and not all women are spendaholics!  Find out each other's strong points and do what works for you.

Spending Money On Step children ? Who should pay for what and how much ?

Who should pay for what and how much ?

This is a very grey area and yet it’s one of the biggest areas of conflict and resentments in blended or step families.  Right or wrong our society places expectations, unrealistic or not on the stepparent that often the non custodial parent runs away from. It’s expected that a man marrying a woman with kids should pick up the bills for his stepchildren. It is also expected that a woman marrying a man with  children should happily surrender her earnings towards the household budget whether she has children or not. Is society not setting up the step parent for a fall here ? Is it not inevitable that after the honeymoon phase passes and reality starts to bite then the new step parent will start to question why their stepkids should attend private school or other such costs when their bio-parent cannot afford to send them there on their own steam ? If the step parent voices this concern to their partner, or extended family members  then they are often seen as the wicked and evil step parent !

Are couples who are planning to blend their families together talking enough about the financial expectations of each partner to the new family, children included ? 

What are the implications of adopting a “Yours, Mine, and Ours approach ?

These are all very good questions that unfortunately we don’t have the answers for ! However our aim with this article is to start an open and honest dialogue between couples with stepchildren or those people who are considering marrying someone with children and also those of us who are advisers to  people with stepchildren to carefully weigh out this matter so that there are no unfulfilled expectations between couples and no unnecessary resentments between stepkids and their stepparents.                                                   What’s your take on this; should  stepparents  be expected to spend money on stepchildren ? Email us your feedback at family.corner@outlook.com or comment at www.facebook.com/ourfamilycorner

Celebrating International Women's Day - What Every wife, mother,sister,daughter,girlfriend, needs to make it happen..

International Women's Day 2015

International Women's Day 2015

Things (about money ) that Women want men to know..

 1. I am not stupid, I can  add and subtract maybe even better than you.

2. We don’t discuss about money, you talk and I pretend to listen..

3. I would like you to discuss purchase of big ticket items with me BEFORE you buy them.

4. Your lack of honesty about money drives me crazy !

5.  I am on your side.. I am not stealing from you or trying to enrich myself or my parents at your expense. Have faith in me.

6. I want our family to be financially secure and our kids to have  better opportunities than we did, you don’t always seem to get that.

7. I will not think any less of you if you are honest about how much you earn or your financial status.

8. You are so defensive about money, so I tell you what you want to hear just to keep the peace.

9. I may not make the money  but I still want to know how the  finances are being managed.

10. I need to know that our family is a  priority in your life. I am happy to help out extended family &  friends when I know that we come first.

11. It feels like you use money to assert your power over me, I may as well be one of the kids when it comes to financial decisions.

12.You resent that I make more money than you. I don’t treat you like you’re inferior, you do that by yourself.

13.  Love + Work + Vision=  My Respect

14. You were more loving & kind before we had money..

15. Why do we not have the money for rent, food, school fees and other bills but you still have money to go out ?

16. I wish, like you, I can make financial mistakes and it’s considered a learning  point not a train smash!

Teach Your Children About Finances & Giving with the 10 10 10 70 Rule Concept : Family Corner March 2015

As parents it’s our responsibility to impart our children with  basic knowledge  about money.                  Some of us have learnt or are  still learning the hard way about the money thing due to lack of education  on money when we were younger. We want to raise a generation that won’t  to keep starting from scratch and it starts with our children becoming more clued in on the value of money. Dr Kerby  T Alvy author of Power of Positive Parenting has developed the 10,10,10,70 rule concept for teaching children ( adults need this too !) how to be  financially successful and giving.  Dr Alvy suggests that parents give guidance to kids on how to use whatever monies they get or earn now and in the future. For every dollar that the child receives or earns they  should :

GIVE - 10% to a charity/ religious institution of their choice
INVEST – 10% to build their fortunes
SAVE – 10% for the future, and
SPEND – 70% for  expenses.

Get each child 4  separate piggy banks and mark them out as above  and  whatever dollars they earn or receive should be distributed into different banks as per  the 10/10/10/70  rule . Whether you use this or another method what is IMPORTANT is to get the kids consciously thinking about money and how they spend it.