Step love ..Love your partner but don't like their kids ?

Let’s talk about step -love or is it just love ? Most couples with stepkids are not comfortable thinking about this topic let alone  discussing it so if you are feeling a little out of sorts about this then you are not alone. However ‘stepkids’ can be the root cause of   resentments and hidden gripes   between couples due to unfulfilled  expectations. Sometimes disagreements about ‘stepkids’ are charged and highly emotive to the point where a couple may consider divorce . When two people decide to get married and one or both come with children from other relationships it is not always a given that ‘love’ for these kids will blossom immediately or in future. Couples with blended families need to be more understanding and sensitive  of each other’s needs. We believe there is nothing like step love just love, and love comes in various forms. If you have stepkids and you are not even in ‘deep like’ with them let alone love them , try a few of these  suggestions to build the  relationship:

· Give it time and chance: Progress in the relationship with your stepkids who are also your new family members will take time. The way to look at it is that you are now family and often we don’t get to choose our family.. If you give it a chance love may grow over time.

· Be honest with your partner: If your feelings about your stepkids are affecting the relationship with your spouse then it may be time to have a ‘sit down’ and have a mature conversation about what’s going on. However before you put your feelings out there some self examination is required to make sure that your feelings are not out of insecurity or petty jealousy.

· Be guided by acts of  services and actions of love : You may not necessarily have feelings of love for your spouse’s parents,          siblings and extended family however you will often try to treat them with respect and serve them accordingly . The same should apply to your spouse’s children. They should not be easy targets just because they are kids.

Don’t fake it ! Extend grace to your stepkids even when they don’t deserve it..you have an opportunity to model another type of love