HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

Why Do Some Men Abandon Their Kids : 9 Possible Reasons ..

We all know a man (it might even be you.. ) who has a child or even children somewhere and he can’t be bothered ! He does not care what the child eats, the living conditions of the child or how the child is performing at school or at work ! For most of us this  is  inexcusable as there is  no reason under the sun that should stop a father from being dad to his child ..unless a man is a threat through abuse of some nature . However, the  painful reality is that there are millions of unfathered  children all over the world and there must be a reason for this.  Dr Roy Baumeister  wrote in his book Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty  ‘If we want to understand people who do things that we disapprove of, it  is almost  essential to set aside our disapproval and other  moral judgements, at  least temporarily, in order to see how things look to them.’ Whether these reasons are acceptable to you or not they may at least help to explain why men are "divorcing their kids ".          

Our research revealed these 9 possible  reasons why a man will abandon his child  :

1. Immaturity ; regardless of  age some men are just not wired to accept the responsibility of being a father, ever . Hard to swallow

2.Fear. 
If a man has an inferior complex or feels inadequate  he may be afraid that  he will mess up.Without a proper support system he may choose the flight option rather than to fight to be a better father.

3. Issues with Baby Mama.
Some men use  issues with their children’s mother to stay away from their children. You may think this is a crazy reason but some men feel such resentment towards their ex partner to the extent that  he can walk away from anything that involves her,  including his kids. Some men also think their baby mamas  try to use the children to squeeze him for money so if he is out of the kids lives then  she doesn’t get a cent of his hard earned cash! 
4. A belief that parenting is  a woman’s job.  

 Some guys believe that the mothering role is more important  in  parenting. He is not emotionally  invested in his children’s  lives and  sees himself as a free agent who can  hang out with his friends, work all the time or even engage in other relationships. Putting other people’s needs before their own is something that some men cannot do.

5. Led by their ‘feelings’ rather than commitment.

Some men are unable to commit even to their children. They are led by feelings instead of  being guided by commitment to something or someone.  When problems arise as they inevitably do he will be guided by how he feels about being a father or being a husband, if he aint feeling it he simply walks away.

6. Formation of new relationships .               

Some men are unable or unwilling to keep bonds from  previous relationships  alive. The new woman is often blamed for this but some guys are in fact the ones who try to erase traces  of their past lives including their kids from another relationship. In some cases he is not willing to risk the new relationship breaking up so he is willing to sacrifice his children’s welfare if his new  partner seems unwilling to accept  his kids . He simply does not want to run two or more households.

7. Unable to deal with pain of the broken relationship.

It may be difficult to believe but some men choose to keep away from their children as a way to manage the pain of the broken relationship. Although not always spoken about some men find the end of a relationship difficult  to accept and as a way of managing the pain they rather stay away.

8. Accidental Pregnancy

When an accidental pregnancy occurs often  due to casual sex some men are unable to form a bond with their offspring from that relationship. He may not necessarily be a bad                person and may go on to become a great father to kids that he fathered with a woman that he has an emotional connection with. However,  he may fail to  ever form a bond with a child from an accidental pregnancy. Ouch!

9. When He Can’t Have His Cake..

So he wanted to have more than one woman in his life , wifey was having none of that and leaves him taking the kids with her. He gets mad and wants to make her suffer for rejecting him in the hope that if she suffers she might reconsider and allow him to have his two or more wives! Finish

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From Good to 'Awesome' Dad..Family Corner June 2015

Dad  still matters in raising children and being an awesome Dad doesn’t just happen , it needs time and effort. We  believe in dads and the important role they play in every child’s life.  Here are a  few tips to move you from being a good dad to an AWESOME one..

1. Be passionate about life. Having a Dad who is passionate about life and living is amazing. Get up from the couch  , turn the TV off and  do something that you and  your kids can be proud of.

2.  Challenge yourself . Have you challenged yourself lately ? You may have wanted to run a marathon, build something  new, learn a new skill or climb Mount Kilimanjaro !  Let your family  see your journey, your highs and lows and when you achieve ..it will be awesome! 

3.  Love without apology. Show your kids and your wife  that you love them and are thankful for them.  There is something special  about a  man who loves his family and is not afraid to say it  ..forty  something years later knowing that my siblings and I meant the world to our Dad still warms my heart  and it’s made me love my  children without apology.

4.  Have a big vision. An awesome father has a  vision so big and  bold that he  knows that he  won’t  complete it in his lifetime. This Awesome Dad will get the vision started and begin to build it in his lifetime . His kids and  his kids kids believe in Awesome Dad’s dream and will run with it in their lifetimes and take the vision to new levels.

5.  Don’t retire from being a Superhero to your family. Even when it seems  there are stronger, richer, more educated or better looking dads out there , you are the best dad and superhero for your family ! Step up to it and make the best with what you have . Your family  love you already so with a little more effort you can "wow" them.